I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
false alarm, still single
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
