another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
