and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
