Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Me too!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
