ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
