I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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