So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
