We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
