covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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