the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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