I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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