Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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