He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
