Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
