I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
