I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
