I hate all girls vehemently.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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