They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
