This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
