wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
