He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He felt like a one man threesome
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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