"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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