i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
