theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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