i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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