Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
