to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
