He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There r osticjed everywhere
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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