and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
