I heard we made out
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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