Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
vagina is talking i cant
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
