How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
