How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
