I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
