seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
