If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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