Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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