I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
