all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
