I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
