I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
