I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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