Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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