2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
