Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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