he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
