I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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