Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
