Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
