You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Come on in and take your pants off
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