that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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