i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
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