i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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