they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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