I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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