I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I think I just sharted jello shots
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
